J-7

This morning I woke up with a sentence that Jesus said: “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.” Mat 18:19

I believe he is not speaking about people. Now that the gap between my consicous mind (my dreams) and my subconsious mind (what I believe I am worthy of) are merging, I do believe - or let’s say: I know - that he is speaking about the union or the marriage within ourselves. When the Higher Self joins the human self. When resistance against the dream subsides - to be more precise: resistance against the receiving of the dream.

One of my biggest dreams is sharing life with you. Looking at a fridge full of pictures. Yesterday, a friend from my teenage years sent a message and I happen to be at my parent’s place. I came over, we tried the gongs and drums his company is producing and I felt a victim thought: how much more enjoyable this would be if I could send you a video later. We then sat in his kitchen, with a fridge full of pictures of him and his wife and the two boys who were sleeping in their room.

I looked at this fridge and thought: this is a life. A thought that contained: and I don’t have one. When I went to the car, I felt this emptiness, this well-known emptiness. And I heard what it was saying:

I want to live a life that feels so right. So right and so good. To experience moments, where all is in place.

And in the car, I decided against the thoughts of: again not me. I decided to stop looking for evidence that it is again not me. And stop believing and feeding this lie.

I look forward to a fridge full of pictures with you. A figurative fridge. A wall of moments. Deep moments. Full moments. Adventure. Tenderness. Beauty. We might not have a fridge for a while.