MEETING IN LOVE
I started writing this book a few weeks ago in a different document. Actually, that's not entirely true—I began writing this book 10 years ago, and in my soul, perhaps even before I was born.
This book is:
MEETING IN LOVE
It’s the book I’ve always wanted to write—or more precisely, to live and write.
When you decide to enter Sacred Union and make it the non-negotiable part of the equation, everything else—your thoughts, feelings, patterns, habits, and beliefs—must adapt and become the variable, the changeable. Above all, your worldview shifts from one rooted in logic to one steeped in magic. And it’s here, in this world of magic, where you’ve always longed to live, where you’ve always belonged. In this world, things arrange themselves for you, and “fighting for” becomes “aligning with”.
Sometimes, it takes a wish so grand that it forces you to give up what you’ve known and enter the life you always felt was true, but somehow out of reach.
This is my story. I’ve been inspired by the stories of so many others who have guided me through my darkest times. May my story be a lighthouse for you.
I’ll turn it into a biweekly email experience until it becomes a book, you can read along “live” and sign-up here
PREFACE
I have been a writer since I was born. At first, I had been writing stories in my mind. The written stories started when I was a teenager. Captivated by eating disorders and alienated from classmates, I felt so alone that my only friend was my diary. At that point, writing was more about documenting my (inner) life than storytelling. Later, I became a screenwriter. Not because I wanted to write screenplays, but by attending a prestigious film university, I wanted to acquire the right to write. I became a screenwriter which gave me freedom of location and an income that allowed me to use this freedom of location. Over time, I’ve written over 60 screenplays for crime series, always trying to weave a love story into them. It is love stories that I had always wanted to write, and foremost my own.
I wrote stories about a great love in my mind. You can also call it daydreaming or escaping. Why, you ask, it could as well be called visioning, visualizing, manifesting, and living in the end, no?
No, because what I dreamt of was impossible for the version of me I was then. I dreamt of a Sacred Union—not a relationship, a Sacred Union. I didn’t want to get married because it is what you do—but as an extension, as the only logical consequence of two Souls committing to each other, through all phases of life. However, I secretly hoped that this Sacred Union would solve all of my problems and make me finally feel whole and worthy as a woman and as a human. I also dreamt of a form of intimacy and sexuality that I was not able to experience, feeling disconnected from myself and my own body. It felt as if I was locked into myself, unable to express what I felt inside me.
And so, in this sense, without doing inner work, these stories were an escape, a daydream. How do you know the difference between a daydream and a vision? For everyone familiar with addictions: it’s the feeling after a cigarette, a glass of wine, binge eating & vomiting. You know you shouldn’t—but you did, to give yourself some relief (from the reality you can’t seem to get out of.) You also feel that you are not a match to the scenes in your dream (currently, because the true you is). In short: after an escape-daydream you feel guilty and your real life feels dull. After visioning, you feel changed and hopeful.
Then, 12 years ago, out of sheer Grace, I fell out of a great darkness into Love. It happened within one split second in the armpit of a beautiful man named David in a hotel in Lausanne. You will get to meet him throughout the book. After feeling single my whole life, even when in relationships, I felt my love story, my soulmate, my twin flame, my Sacred Union had arrived and my life could finally begin. Instead, I entered a one-sided love story that painfully taught me what I really wanted: to be in (a state of) Love. In general. Meaning: deeply connected with and appreciative of myself, my life, Life itself—and God. And from this place enter Sacred Union.
Several years passed. Several versions of me gave birth to the next. I witnessed others meeting their great love, and I was watching them, standing on the sideline, also of my very own life. Frustrated, I started to study conscious creation. I turned to it out of lack, longing, and desire. I got results, and met wonderful men, with almost precisely the traits I had intended—but I did not feel the way I wanted to feel.
When you embark on this path, the path of conscious creation, at one point, sooner or later, you become aware that it is not about getting something or someone, it is not about realizing your dream—but growing into your Wholeness and Worth, seeing yourself the way God has created you and sees you, realizing that you do not have to beg or steal from Life. The dream (whatever that dream is for you) is only the vehicle to get you started with changing into who God has meant you to be and to pull you through the darkest hours of change.
So, here is the story of my dream, the one that I had always wanted to write, live, and grow into. When I start writing a screenplay, I always start with one scene. The scene that touches me most. And I build the story around it. In life, this scene is called a vision. A moment you want to experience. This is not a workbook or a how-to. However, I want to invite you, while reading, to create or refine your very own scene.