27 Crossing Thresholds

What if the abyss, the place where it has been so dark, was the very place that let you build the power and stamina to cross over into your greatness?
I stood at the threshold of greatness many times. And each and every time I did not cross. The gatekeepers felt so much stronger than me. They said: you are not worthy, you don’t deserve this, who are you, who do you think you are, what you do have to say—I believe you know what I mean.

Then, there came a time that was so dark and at times felt like demolition, like really fighting for my life in non-physical terms. There are no words for it, if you have been there, you know it, it feels like your Soul is about to be erased or eradicated. It’s a place where, without knowing how, you have to choose yourself. Choose yourself against any outer lies, against any inner voices. To me, it is also a place where you choose God because you realize you won’t make it out there on your own. I’ve written a lot about this immense pain that does not allow for any additional self-made suffering to be carried on any longer—if you want to get through that place.

One day, there appears another chance or door for greatness (whatever that might be in your life is individual to you, in the end, it is about aligning what is in your heart with the outer world). And again, there will be the gatekeepers. Telling you all the reasons why you can’t cross over.

Only this time, you know they are telling lies. You probably knew it all the other times before. But back then, you had agreed with the lies on a certain level. After the abyss not anymore. You know they can’t harm you. Are you sure about the outcome? No. But you walk through the door anyway. Step by step. Are you free of fear? I am not, there is fear, simply because I don’t know what will happen. I believe it’s something new and great. The fear is infused with excitement: what has Life in store for me?