32 God’s Love Language

Today, I reflected on the concept of worthiness—specifically, the worthiness of being provided for without needing to earn it or achieve my desires through my own efforts.

During my journey on the Camino in 2023, I confronted one of my deepest fears: trusting in God and realizing He might not provide for me. The fear that I would be left to fend for myself, forcing me to convince myself that I didn’t need what I desired—otherwise, God would have given it to me.

But did I ever truly give God, or Life, the space to act on my behalf? Or was I too busy micromanaging every detail? Was there any room left for God to step in? It’s often said that God honors our free will, and mine was to take control of my healing, my growth, my habits—everything I deemed necessary to become the woman capable of entering a Sacred Union.

I believed this was the right approach, and in many ways, it was. But by setting conditions on what was necessary to receive my desires, even the act of letting go became another form of control.

In 2022, I fell seriously ill in Mexico. I couldn’t keep anything down, not even a sip of water. The fact that I managed to get from that tiny island of El Cuyo to the airport in Cancún felt like a miracle. It was during the COVID-19 pandemic, and I had to quarantine. The day I finally tested negative, I was still incredibly weak. Just days earlier, I had written in my diary that I wanted to give God the chance to be God. Now, I was so weak that I had no choice but to surrender. I wasn’t even sure I could board the plane. But I took the next step: I got in a cab to the airport. Then the next: I checked in my luggage. I bought some chocolate, ate it, and boarded the plane.

I nearly panicked when there was a power outage, and we had to sit in the plane for an hour without air conditioning. But the man next to me was kind, and the flight attendant brought me tea in a first-class cup with a heart at the bottom. When the plane finally took off, Venus—“my star”—was shining right beside me. When I landed in Frankfurt, I found only one bag circling at baggage claim—mine. None of the others had arrived, not even from first class. This allowed me to catch a train just ten minutes later (the next one wouldn’t have come for another two hours) that took me to my parents’ house, where I could finally rest.

I had given God the chance to be God, to show His greatness, and everything had worked out seamlessly, bringing me home. This happened when I was at my weakest, unable to do anything but take the next step.

So, even when I feel strong—especially then—it’s important to practice this belief:

I am worthy of God working for me.

Ultimately, this is how I want to live, how I want to experience life: filled with God’s magic, His love language. And perhaps, He wants me to embrace how He sees me—worthy of His gifts and miracles.